Only If I’m Asking: the Best Way to Coach Me

Posted by on Nov 28, 2010 in Articles | 0 comments

Most of us have a deep desire to help others. When we hear them mention something we really want to share with them what wisdom we have gained with regards to that subject.  We share all we know, and try to get them to commit to following our recommendations. Funny, many times they are really not interested in doing that.  You know, sometimes they are telling us personal things from their lives just to be able to share it.  Or, they may be wanting us to agree with them.  I can share with you an amazing tip on how to tell if someone you know is wanting your help with something in their life.  Are you ready? Here it is:   “They will ask!”

Not too complicated, eh? But wait, there is more.  In addition, they need to be within a baby step of our answer.  Most of us are wanting to grow, expand, and evolve.  But it all happens in baby steps.  We can only take the next logical step, the baby step, on any journey.  And that step must be within reach of where we are right now.

This is especially true for teens.  For any of you parents of teenagers, like myself, this is positively true.  And one very important additional thing to remember:  our teens, if they do ask a question of us, are only wanting our opinion on that one finite specific topic.  Do not wander or embellish, as they will quickly tune you out.  But do enjoy the invitation they have given you.  Celebrate whenever those opportunities come up.  And don’t overstay your welcome.  I have wanted to make a t-shirt for my teenagers:   “The I-Care-What-You-Think Club Is By Invitation Only.”

Teens are a great example, but in reality, all of our adult friends really feel the same way. They are a bit more diplomatic, but chances are, our adult friends do not desire our opinions or recommendations unless they are specifically asking for it as well.  So, in summary, it comes down to two things:  One, they must be asking, and two, they must be within reach of our answer.

Enjoy all of this, be easy about it, relax, and don’t waste your time trying to coach someone who is not asking for your help.  You know the smartest, wisest, more evolved and expanded individuals we know really don’t push their ideas or their recommendations on us, we have to beg for them to voice their opinion to us. Be like that… you’ll feel better and more appreciated.

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